Trials and Tribulations of a 40 year old Intern...

Excellent client quote of the day:

Perhaps gay man, whose back I am waxing “So, what percentage of the men that you wax are gay?”

Me, trying to seem nonchalant: “I have no idea, I never ask my clients if they are gay… there are only clients that make sure I know they have a girlfriend and those that don’t mention one.”

Oh, I meant excellent “me” quote…

Screw clothing sizes

erinmargrethe:

What happened to going by your measurements? That was cool. Of course, my measurements pretty much make me out to be a dude.

38”-28”-34”

They sell padded butt underwear, don’t they?

Sorry…but isn’t that very nearly perfect?

Its another day with bad news...

… I’ve had those before, I’ll have more.  Cal bar results today…  you do the math.

I guess I am just the kind of person who needs to do things twice… or as many as it takes to get it… which is just what it is… more than once.   Doesn’t “mean” anything… except a pain in my frickin’ ass and being older before I can start to practice law.  Fuck.

My iconoclastic day...part deux

So we’re friends, right?  Internet friends… but you can handle the truth, right?

Today was awesome… I did my first thing in front of a judge where I “won.”  My supervising attorney always gives me things to do that are sure losers, I guess, because 1. almost everything is.  2. If there is a chance of winning, it is likely my inexperienced ass will fuck it up, and its just as well I make my mistakes on things that are gonna lose anyhow.  Everything I’ve ever asked for..denied… OR, lower bail, seal and destroy arrest records, motions to suppress..

So this was simple, an OR motion - granted…  One less drug addict clogging the jail and draining tax payer dollars for a bit. Yay!

Also, our first client that I don’t believe deserves lenience… I am so impressed with my supervising attorney, because he is truly giving her a vigorous defense, even though she is obviously full of shit.   While what she is alleged to have done is truly egregious, it is on the low end of the egregious scale in terms of what I will see in my legal career - its like a starter egrege…

Then the for-profit portion of the day, involving lots of hair removal.  My last client of the day, getting, you guessed it, a Brazilian, tells me “Oh, I’ve got my period right now, but its not very heavy…” Excuse me? What am I supposed to do with that information?  Are you telling me that I might have to fucking watch out for menstrual blood or something?  Like my job isn’t disgusting enough as it is?  You’ve been wearing shoes without socks all day, so I can smell your stinky feet while I play dodge ball with your tampon string?  Are you mother fucking serious?  Really?  WTF?

Then you are going to gasp and jump *every* time, like some kind of pussy?  Even when there’s like two hairs left?  You understood what was going to happen before you told me to yank out your pubic hair by the root, right?  Sack up, bitch!  But first, get that goddamn tampon string out of the way…cut it off or stuff it in…JESUS!